natalia

sábado, 26 de setembro de 2009

Francisco Cuoco morreu


Fiquei puta porque meus amigos disseram que eu não sabia mentir. É claro que eu sei mentir, já contei várias mentiras aqui no blog. "Ah, mas ao vivo você não consegue", disse um. "Você fica nervosa e começa a gesticular muito", a outra completou. "Gente, eu gesticulo sempre", tentei justificar, "descendência italiana, é assim que meu povo fala". Meus amigos me olharam com cara de tédio e me lembraram que eu sou judia e não tenho nenhuma ligação com a Itália. "Eu gosto de pizza, isso não conta?".
No dia seguinte, resolvi provar que sabia mentir e escolhi o melhor lugar do mundo para se começar um boato: o salão de beleza. Como eu não tinha planejado muito bem, acabei soltando a primeira coisa que me veio na cabeça:
- Francisco Cuoco morreu - disse à manicure.
- Francisco Cuoco morreu? - ela perguntou, surpresa.
- Morreu. Parece que eles estão segurando a imprensa, foi uma morte estranha. Eu nem devia estar falando isso...
- Cidinha! Cidinha!- gritava a manicure para a colega ao lado - Francisco Cuoco morreu!
Eu tinha provado que estava certa. Claro que eu sabia mentir. Só não esperava que minha mentira fosse tão boa. Em menos de uma semana, muita gente já estava sabendo da suposta morte do legendário ator. Só comecei a ficar realmente preocupada quando a velhinha sentada ao meu lado no ônibus veio puxar papo:
- É... Francisco Cuoco morreu... - ela disse, refletindo sobre sua própria condição de mortal.
- Não, minha senhora. Isso é só um boato - tentei reverter.
- Não é não, minha filha. Parece que eles estão segurando a imprensa, porque foi uma morte estranha...
"Ai meu deus", pensei, "eu matei o Francisco Cuoco!".
No dia seguinte, voltei ao salão de beleza para fazer as unhas de novo. Pé e mão. Vermelho 40 graus. Já estava indo embora quando adentrou no recinto praticamente uma assombração. Não podia ser. Era ele, em carne e osso, coração pulsante e respiração regular. Francisco Cuoco.
- Francisco Cuoco faz a unha? - perguntei curiosa à minha manicure que estava mais branca do que as minhas canelas albinas.
- Tão dizendo por aí que eu morri - ele contou. - Não sei quem começou essa história.
- Foi ela - a manicure me dedurou.
Não sabia o que fazer. Comecei a improvisar.
- Ah, você tava falando desse Francisco Cuoco? Eu tava falando do outro...
- Que outro? - ele rebateu - Não tem nenhum outro Francisco Cuoco.
- Uhh... alguém aqui tá sendo um pouquinho egocêntrico, né? - arrisquei - Já experimentou colocar seu nome no Google? Deve ter tipo milhões de Franciscos Cuocos e eu tenho certeza de que pelo menos um deles morreu.
Todos me olhavam confusos.
- Agora se vocês me derem licença, eu tenho que ir - disse, já me levantando. - Tô muito abalada. Acabei de saber que o Ney Latorraca morreu.
E com essa eu fui embora.
- O Ney Latorraca morreu? - Francisco Cuoco perguntou à manicure, que fez que não sabia.

85 comentários:

  1. Safa de uma mentira através de outra, adorei. Ah e sim, ficou provado que sabes mentir LOL

    Beijo

    ResponderExcluir
  2. Muito boa!!!
    Será que o Ney faz as unhas no mesmo salão tbm??!
    hahahahahahaha
    beijo

    ResponderExcluir
  3. he hehe heheheh...
    Tá cada texto melhor que antes...=).
    E eu divulgo isso aqui, SEMPRE!

    =*

    ResponderExcluir
  4. adooro teu bloog, amei esse texto!
    ah, e por 1 segundo, acreditei que fosse verdade quando li o titulo,
    OIEHOEAHOEAH ;*

    ResponderExcluir
  5. Sexta-feira eu também matei o Francisco Cuoco pros meus amigos! E o pior é que eu tava acreditando na mentira...
    ;)

    ResponderExcluir
  6. Como eu demorei tanto tempo para descobrir esse blog!!

    ResponderExcluir
  7. Gente! Li quase todos os textos!!
    Viciante.

    ResponderExcluir
  8. Cara, isso é sério??? Vc realmente inventou isso?

    ResponderExcluir
  9. Só um texto, moça Inconstante. Só um texto.
    Beijo!

    ResponderExcluir
  10. Já pensou em filmar isso? Daria um curta delicioso. Parabens botema crônica.

    ResponderExcluir
  11. Agora tou na duvida se rolou o boato.

    ResponderExcluir
  12. kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk ameiiiiii.....

    ResponderExcluir
  13. Mais e ai o Franscisco mais o Ney morreram mesmo??

    ResponderExcluir
  14. Coitado...Alguém matou ele novamente!!!(Outro boato)

    ResponderExcluir
  15. I can only express a word of thanks. Because with the content on this blog I can add knowledge I, thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health.
    cara mengobati penyumabatan pembuluh darah
    obat nyeri lutut akibat asam urat
    cara menyembuhkan penyakit gudik
    thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health.
    obat kliyengan alami
    cara pemesanan QnC Jelly Gamat
    obat kliyengan alami

    ResponderExcluir
  16. thank you very useful information admin, and pardon me permission to share articles here may help :

    Cara menyembuhkan mata minus dengan daun kelor
    Cara mengatasi keputihan dengan bawang putih

    ResponderExcluir
  17. I am happy to be here and this wonderful article. I have found here lots of interesting information for my knowledge I need. all the details you provide to us, it was very helpful and useful, thanks for sharing this amazing post.


    obat benjolan di selangkangan
    Penyebab kelebihan sel darah putih
    obat kejang kejang epilepsi
    cara menghilangkan cairan di paru paru
    Cara menormalkan penglihatan yang buram

    ResponderExcluir
  18. This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free. I love seeing websites that understand the value of providing a quality resource for free. It is the old what goes around comes around routine

    risa herbal
    penyebab sakit pinggang
    obat mata glaukoma
    obat gagal ginjal
    obat penebalan dinding rahim
    obat penghancur kanker
    obat varikokel

    ResponderExcluir
  19. Thank you, for getting something new and saluting the originality of this story, hopefully useful, so that life is more useful and useful for others

    Obat Sakit Tenggorokan
    Cara Cepat Menyembuhkan Patah Tulang
    6 Cara Mencegah Dan Mengatasi Pengeroposan Tulang
    Cara Mengobati Luka Bernanah Pada Penderita Diabetes

    ResponderExcluir
  20. I am happy to be here and this wonderful article. I have found here lots of interesting information for my knowledge I need. all the details you provide to us, it was very helpful and useful, thanks for sharing this

    amazing post.

    cara menormalkan penglihatan yang buram
    cara mengatasi maag saat hamil
    cara mengobati sakit perut bagian kanan bawah
    cara mengobati sakit pinggang sebelah kanan
    cara mengobati ambeien atau wasir
    cara menyembuhkan kejang kejang
    cara menghilangkan cairan di paru paru

    ResponderExcluir
  21. I can only express a word of thanks. Because with the content on this blog I can add knowledge I, thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health.
    Obat Kelenjar Submandibula QnC Herbal Murah
    Cara mengobati Cenang Atau Budug |
    Obat Jantung Berdebar |
    Cara Mengatasi Insomnia |

    ResponderExcluir
  22. The post is written in very a good manner and it contains many useful information for me. Thank you very useful information admin, and pardon me permission to share articles here may help :

    risa herbal
    cara menghilangkan benjolan
    toko obat herbal sapnudin
    sehat dan cantik alami
    khasiat obat herbal
    cara menghilangkan bekas jerawat

    ResponderExcluir
  23. Hopefully with the content on this blog, I can add to my insight, thank you |
    Cara Mengatasi Bisul Di Anus |
    Obat cacar api paling ampuh

    ResponderExcluir
  24. I can only express a word of thanks. Because with the content on this blog I can add knowledge I, thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health. |
    cara pemesanan QnC Jelly Gamat |
    OBAT LUKA BAKAR ALAMI |
    obat kliyengan alami |
    OBAT LUKA BAKAR ALAMI |
    cara mengobati hidrosalping

    ResponderExcluir
  25. Hopefully, sustenance will be easy and simplified in all matters :-) |
    OBAT LUKA BAKAR ALAMI |
    obat jerawat |
    cara mengobati panu dan kurap

    ResponderExcluir
  26. I can only express a word of thanks. Because with the content on this blog I can add knowledge I, thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health. |
    cara mengobati sakit kepala |
    manfaat herbal g-sea |
    OBAT KLIYENGAN ALAMI |
    khasiat herbal natural |
    cara mengobati penyakit rubella

    ResponderExcluir
  27. I can only say thank you, for sharing information about health. Don't forget to visit our page. Thank you |
    obat seklelan paling ampuh | 100% manjut dijamin original
    benjolan di selangkangan paling ampuh

    ResponderExcluir
  28. I can only say thank you, for sharing information about health. Don't forget to visit our page. Thank you |
    Benjolan Di badan | 100% Ampuh
    obat pengap alami | dan manjur
    Manfaat QnC Gamat Emas 100% Herbal

    ResponderExcluir
  29. Thank you for sharing information with us. Don't forget to visit us to share information about health okay
    cara mengobati sakit kelpala |
    cara menyembuhkan vertigo |
    cara mengobati vertigo

    ResponderExcluir
  30. I can only express a word of thanks. Because with the content on this blog I can add knowledge I, thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health. |
    obat herbal penyakit hisprung |
    Obat batuk Kering |
    OBAT KLIYENGAN ALAMI |
    obat benjolan di kelopak mata |
    cara pemesanan QnC Jelly Gamat |
    obat sakit usus 12 jari

    ResponderExcluir
  31. Good information. i like this srticle. This is the best blog.. Good luck..!!
    Cara Mengobati Sangkadi
    Cara Mengobati Scabies

    ResponderExcluir
  32. I can only express a word of thanks. Because with the content on this blog I can add knowledge I, thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health. |
    Cara mengobati gusi bengkak |
    QnC Jelly Gamat
    Solusi Pengobatan Alami |
    obat babak gatal selangkangan |
    Cara Mengobati Tinnitus

    ResponderExcluir
  33. I can only express a word of thanks. Because with the content on this blog I can add knowledge I, thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health. |
    Cara mengobati gusi bengkak |
    QnC Jelly Gamat
    Solusi Pengobatan Alami |
    obat babak gatal selangkangan |
    Cara Mengobati Tinnitus

    ResponderExcluir
  34. I can only express a word of thanks. Because with the content on this blog I can add knowledge I, thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health. |
    obat herbal jantung koroner |
    cara menghentikan pendarahan haid |
    OBAT BATU GINJAL ALAMI |
    cara mengobati sekelan |
    obat sekelan di ketiak

    ResponderExcluir
  35. Good information. i like this srticle. This is the best blog.. Good luck..!!
    Benjolan Di badan | 100% Ampuh
    obat pengap alami | dan manjur |
    Manfaat QnC Gamat Emas 100% Herbal |
    kepala kliyengan | vertigo / pusing |
    cara mengobati puru | secara alami |
    cara pesan QnC Jelly Gamat dengan benar

    ResponderExcluir
  36. I can only express a word of thanks. Because with the content on this blog I can add knowledge I, thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health.
    Lemona Jus Sari Lemon Asli
    obat herbal meningitis
    Manfaat lemon original

    ResponderExcluir
  37. Writers Fort is a content writing Services Company and content writing Marketplace worldwide. If you need to any copywriting Service, contact us

    ResponderExcluir
  38. Hello I am so delighted I located your blog, I really located you by mistake, while I was watching on Google for something else, Anyways I am here now and could just like to say thank for a tremendous post and a all round entertaining website. Please do keep up the great work. If you want to learn more about Online Marketing Seo you visit now

    ResponderExcluir
  39. Exceptionally useful post! There is a considerable measure of data here that can enable any business to begin with a fruitful long range informal communication campaign! If you want to learn more about Online Marketing you visit now

    ResponderExcluir
  40. Thank you for sharing excellent information. Your website is so cool. I am impressed by the details that you have on this website. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for extra articles. If you want to learn more about Online Marketing Seo, you visit now

    ResponderExcluir
  41. That was a great and comprehensive article…all the tips enumerated and explained will be helpful for those who are wise enough to tap from it. Any business nowadays without social media signals and presence may not make it to the outermost, and investment too is part of the key to success in business. Keep up the good work. If you want to learn more about Seo Marketing, you visit now

    ResponderExcluir
  42. Considerably, the story is in reality the greatest on this noteworthy topic. I agree with your conclusions and will eagerly watch forward to your next updates. Saying nice one will not just be sufficient, for the wonderful clarity in your writing. I will immediately grab your rss feed to stay privy of any updates. If you want to learn more about Online Marketing Seo, you visit now

    ResponderExcluir
  43. Your blog provided us with valuable information to work with. Each & every tips of your post are awesome. Thanks a lot for sharing. Keep blogging. If you want to learn more about Online Marketing Seo, you visit now

    ResponderExcluir
  44. Needed to compose you a tiny note to finally thank you very much yet again for your personal splendid methods you have discussed above. It is strangely open-handed with people like you to provide publicly all that a number of people would have marketed as an electronic book to generate some bucks for their own end, primarily now that you could possibly have tried it if you ever wanted. These inspiring ideas likewise acted like a fantastic way to know that the rest have the same dreams really like my personal own to see a whole lot more concerning this problem. I’m sure there are thousands of more enjoyable times in the future for many who check out your blog. If you want to learn more about Modern Seo, you visit now

    ResponderExcluir
  45. That was a great and comprehensive article…all the tips enumerated and explained will be helpful for those who are wise enough to tap from it. Any business nowadays without social media signals and presence may not make it to the outermost, and investment too is part of the key to success in business. Keep up the good work. If you want to learn more about Online Marketing Seo, you visit now

    ResponderExcluir
  46. It is vital in these days to have a social media presence. Many businesses overlook this necessity for future growth. It may be more important than putting in more funding. Pricing properly is key, of course. But investing more is not always the best option. Sometimes it’s better to cut unnecessary costs. If you want to learn more about Online Marketing Seo, you visit now

    ResponderExcluir
  47. I can only express a word of thanks. Because with the content on this blog I can add knowledge I, thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health. |
    cara Mengobati gangren |
    obat gatal jamur |
    KHASIAT JELLY GAMAT GOLD-G |
    Obat bekas Operasi caesar |
    obat kaki bengkak karena diabetes

    ResponderExcluir
  48. Good information. i like this srticle. This is the best blog.. Good luck..!!
    Cara Mengatasi Penyakit Dompo khasiar hito | Cara mengobati Kesrek febri hariadi | Khasiat Propolis Brazil sule sutisna |
    Obat Penumbuh Daging | paling ampuh | 7 Minuman kesehatan Alami | Andre Taulani | Thank You Somuach MUachh
    Obat Penghancur Batu Empedu

    ResponderExcluir
  49. Thank you for sharing a good and interesting article ...
    I hope the new posts will increase and can be a very good reference.
    Hopefully more success thank you very much..

    Cara Mengobati Kejang Demam Pada Anak
    cara mudah memesan QnC Jelly Gamat
    Obat Jantung Berdebar Dan Sesak Nafas
    Obat Batuk Rejan Paling Ampuh
    Obat Kelenjar Getah Bening Di Apotik

    ResponderExcluir
  50. Thank you for sharing a good and interesting article ...
    I hope the new posts will increase and can be a very good reference.
    Hopefully more success thank you very much..

    cara menyembuhkan kepala kliyengan
    cara mengobati luka caesar
    obat luka memar dan bengkak
    cara menghilangkan benjolan dipipi

    ResponderExcluir
  51. Thank you for sharing a good and interesting article ...
    I hope the new posts will increase and can be a very good reference.
    Hopefully more success thank you very much..

    cara menyembuhkan kepala kliyengan
    cara mengobati luka caesar
    obat luka memar dan bengkak
    cara menghilangkan benjolan dipipi

    ResponderExcluir
  52. 90minup ข่าวกีฬา ฟุตบอล ผลบอล วิเคราะห์บอล พรีเมียร์ลีก ฟุตบอลไทย
    ข่าวกีฬา
    ตารางคะแนน
    ฟุตบอลไทย
    ไฮไลท์ฟุตบอล
    ดูบอลออนไลน์
    ผลบอลสด
    90minup

    ResponderExcluir
  53. I can only express a word of thanks. Because with the content on this blog I can add knowledge I, thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health.
    Obat Penghilang Gatal Di Sekujur Tubuh
    Cara Mengobati Maag Kronis
    Salep Anti Jamur Kaki

    ResponderExcluir
  54. It is imperative that we read blog post very carefully. I am already done it and find that this post is really amazing

    cara mengobati kelenjar tiroid
    obat herbal kelenjar tiroid

    ResponderExcluir
  55. Deep in the dark I don't need the light
    There's a ghost inside me
    It all belongs to the other side
    We live, we love, we lie

    Obat Penghancur Lipoma
    Obat Pembengkakan Hati
    Obat Tradisional Penyumbatan Usus

    ResponderExcluir

 
Designed by Thiago Gripp
Developed by Márcia Quintella
Photo by Biju Caldeira