
Fiquei puta porque meus amigos disseram que eu não sabia mentir. É claro que eu sei mentir, já contei várias mentiras aqui no blog. "Ah, mas ao vivo você não consegue", disse um. "Você fica nervosa e começa a gesticular muito", a outra completou. "Gente, eu gesticulo sempre", tentei justificar, "descendência italiana, é assim que meu povo fala". Meus amigos me olharam com cara de tédio e me lembraram que eu sou judia e não tenho nenhuma ligação com a Itália. "Eu gosto de pizza, isso não conta?".
No dia seguinte, resolvi provar que sabia mentir e escolhi o melhor lugar do mundo para se começar um boato: o salão de beleza. Como eu não tinha planejado muito bem, acabei soltando a primeira coisa que me veio na cabeça:
- Francisco Cuoco morreu - disse à manicure.
- Francisco Cuoco morreu? - ela perguntou, surpresa.
- Morreu. Parece que eles estão segurando a imprensa, foi uma morte estranha. Eu nem devia estar falando isso...
- Cidinha! Cidinha!- gritava a manicure para a colega ao lado - Francisco Cuoco morreu!
Eu tinha provado que estava certa. Claro que eu sabia mentir. Só não esperava que minha mentira fosse tão boa. Em menos de uma semana, muita gente já estava sabendo da suposta morte do legendário ator. Só comecei a ficar realmente preocupada quando a velhinha sentada ao meu lado no ônibus veio puxar papo:
- É... Francisco Cuoco morreu... - ela disse, refletindo sobre sua própria condição de mortal.
- Não, minha senhora. Isso é só um boato - tentei reverter.
- Não é não, minha filha. Parece que eles estão segurando a imprensa, porque foi uma morte estranha...
"Ai meu deus", pensei, "eu matei o Francisco Cuoco!".
No dia seguinte, voltei ao salão de beleza para fazer as unhas de novo. Pé e mão. Vermelho 40 graus. Já estava indo embora quando adentrou no recinto praticamente uma assombração. Não podia ser. Era ele, em carne e osso, coração pulsante e respiração regular. Francisco Cuoco.
- Francisco Cuoco faz a unha? - perguntei curiosa à minha manicure que estava mais branca do que as minhas canelas albinas.
- Tão dizendo por aí que eu morri - ele contou. - Não sei quem começou essa história.
- Foi ela - a manicure me dedurou.
Não sabia o que fazer. Comecei a improvisar.
- Ah, você tava falando desse Francisco Cuoco? Eu tava falando do outro...
- Que outro? - ele rebateu - Não tem nenhum outro Francisco Cuoco.
- Uhh... alguém aqui tá sendo um pouquinho egocêntrico, né? - arrisquei - Já experimentou colocar seu nome no Google? Deve ter tipo milhões de Franciscos Cuocos e eu tenho certeza de que pelo menos um deles morreu.
Todos me olhavam confusos.
- Agora se vocês me derem licença, eu tenho que ir - disse, já me levantando. - Tô muito abalada. Acabei de saber que o Ney Latorraca morreu.
E com essa eu fui embora.
- O Ney Latorraca morreu? - Francisco Cuoco perguntou à manicure, que fez que não sabia.
Safa de uma mentira através de outra, adorei. Ah e sim, ficou provado que sabes mentir LOL
ResponderExcluirBeijo
Muito boa!!!
ResponderExcluirSerá que o Ney faz as unhas no mesmo salão tbm??!
hahahahahahaha
beijo
legal essa resposta !!
Excluirhe hehe heheheh...
ResponderExcluirTá cada texto melhor que antes...=).
E eu divulgo isso aqui, SEMPRE!
=*
adooro teu bloog, amei esse texto!
ResponderExcluirah, e por 1 segundo, acreditei que fosse verdade quando li o titulo,
OIEHOEAHOEAH ;*
Sexta-feira eu também matei o Francisco Cuoco pros meus amigos! E o pior é que eu tava acreditando na mentira...
ResponderExcluir;)
Como eu demorei tanto tempo para descobrir esse blog!!
ResponderExcluirGente! Li quase todos os textos!!
ResponderExcluirViciante.
Cara, isso é sério??? Vc realmente inventou isso?
ResponderExcluirSó um texto, moça Inconstante. Só um texto.
ResponderExcluirBeijo!
Já pensou em filmar isso? Daria um curta delicioso. Parabens botema crônica.
ResponderExcluirAgora tou na duvida se rolou o boato.
ResponderExcluirkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk ameiiiiii.....
ResponderExcluiramoooooooooooooooooooooo
ResponderExcluirque mentira!
ResponderExcluirMais e ai o Franscisco mais o Ney morreram mesmo??
ResponderExcluirBoa demais! Hahaha
ResponderExcluirCoitado...Alguém matou ele novamente!!!(Outro boato)
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